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Manicrack
06-23-2004, 10:05 PM
Hey, hey,
here is my firstattempt at burnng
the whole charcter story turned out to be longer than i wanted it to be, but so be it.
I appreciate any tips.
And just so everyone knows. This char was just a test, I probably won't be playing it at all.
Here goes nothing:

Argon was surely never very lucky in life. While others were able to form families, make friends and support themselves with simple work, Argon always had to fight hard for everything.
Argon was born in the city of Freyan, in a poor family. His mother was almost alays working, Argon hardly knew her. But his father was often home, when he wasn’t in some bar drinking away the family’s money. He was violent and brutal and made argons early years to a torture. Argon learned fast to dodge his fathers blows, but now he also had to watch how his mother was beaten whenever she was home. After some time it was enough for Argon. He took off. He tried to manage his own life, but soon noticed that he couldn’t do it without living of the street.
Argon began to steal, at first just a little, but soon he noticed his talent and was always on the lookout for some rich fool who wasn’t worth the money he was carrying around in his pouch. He discovered that his own body was agile and quick, whick often safed him in dangerous situations. Argon made himself a name on the streets. Unfortunately this brought problems. Freyan’s underworld was filled with different gangs and none of them liked a self-sufficient thief. However many noticed young Argons talent and tried to hire him. However, Argon was to proud to subordinate himself to anyone he neither trusted nor, for that matter, knew. Eventually, life was getting harder for him. Whenever he was lifting purses or, fleeing form the guards through a dark alleyway or just slept in the street, he had always had to fear the gangs, because now, he was hated. He soon learned how to handle a knife. He needed to be ready if they ever found him. He often managed to get out of the worst trouble by wounding his persecutors and then running for it.
After some years of hide and seek he was finally caught. They obviously had never heard of mercy and Argon was beaten out of the city. There he was now, broken, lonely and in the deadly wilderness. He first tried to survive in the harsh wildness, but soon he noticed that he wasn’t made for this. He was a thief, stealing from the ones who had to much, not a hunter who could live if nature.
Argon was wandering aimlessly around the woods, starving to death. It was only by good luck that he found the camp of Marxo and his group. They had rarely seen anyone creeping into their bandit camp and collapsing in front of them. At first they wanted to slowly torture him to death but Marxo saw some value in the young outcast. He ordered that Argon’s wounds should be treated and be given food for the first few weeks. Argon was recovering quickly, the life on the streets had already made him harsh. But now Marxo demanded his end of the bargain: Argon had to join and serve the bandits. Argon thought for the first time he had found someone to trust and he was more than willing to join the badits, in the hope to finally make comrades. He was even willing to subordinate himself to Marxo, for in him he saw the father he always wanted. Argon learned how to handle a sword and joined Marxo on his raids. Again, his dexterity helped himoften overcome the physical strength of his opponents. At first his loyalty to Marxo was infinite, but soon Argon saw the world with clearer eyes. Marxo only treated people good that were useful to him, anyone else he disposed of. Usually in a very painful way. This violence disgusted Argon. He was willing to steal and maybe to harm others to protect himself or others, but he was not willing to kill for his living. He tried to talk reason into Marxo, but all that resulted in was blows and punches, the argument of the violent.
Now Argon had lost all his respect and loyalty for Marxo. He wasn’t able to follow his orders anymore, his pride forbid him, but he knew if he stayed he would be killed. He ran for it , back into the woods. He thought he might go back to the city which was not too far away. But before he could evaluate that possibility he ran into several armed men. The military. They were searching the area for the group of bandits that had raided several trade stations and caravans. Now there was a someone who definitely didn’t look very trustworthy. Argon tried to put up a fight, but he was overcome and captured quickly.
He was brought in front of Victor Sunber, an experienced sergeant who was always very good with people. The sergeant never considered the possibility to torture this still immature boy. He knew he could form and shape him like he had done with many others. However, this proved to be very hard, Argon’s pride surely made it hard for anyone to communicate him, but the sergeant slowly made progress. Finally he explained the whole situation to Argon: Argon was a bandit and people have been killed on the raids. That meant a death sentence for Argon, unless he could make a trade. The Trade was simple: All the information about Marxo for Argon’s life. But Sunber put one more one it. Argon was going to have join the military. Argon might have been proud, but he was no fool. He knew that he didn’t have a real choice and so he began scouting for the little troup of Sergeant Sunber.
This went on for some years. Argon matured, increased his weapon skills and even learned how to survive for a few days in the wild. He developed a unque fighting style, perfecting his dexterity and mostly reliing on his speed and agility. Over time he got to know the sergeant better and for the first time in his life, he had found someone to trust. The Sergeant was treating him well, and listened to every little of Argon’s concern. He also made sure Argon learned useful things, that would help him latter. Argon was more than glad to follow the advices, demands and even the orders of Sunber. Sunber had earned his respect. However, Argon was still unable to subordinate himself to anyone else. And there were many of a higher rank. Argon was a stain on the clean vest of the military. He was a former thief and bandit. And in many people’s eyes, a murderer. He was constantly mocked and insulted. The encouragement and the help of Sergeant Sunber wasn’t enough to change Argon’s decision: He had to leave his place, once again.
Sunber let him go. People were laughing and calling him a deserter and a coward when Argon left. He once again had lost his place in the world, searching for a new one.



Age:24

Mental: Pe: B3 Wi: B4

Phys: Ag: B5 Sp: B5 Po: B4 Fo: B5

Attributes: He: B4 St: B5 Re: B4

PTGS: Su: B3 Li: B5 Mi:B7 Sev:B6 Tr: B9 Mo: B10

Traits: Dexterity of a Cat, Proud

Skills: Brawling B3, Sword B4, Knife B4, Observation, Stealthy B3, Intimidation B2, Orientation B2, Foraging B2, Sleigh of hand B3

Gear: sword, dirk, clothes, shoes, traveling gear, plated leather armor

Beliefs : “Drunkheads are scum”, “Who wants my respect, has to earn it!”, “To support myself I might steal, but not kill”

Instincts: Be ready for battle at first sign of trouble, never enter dark street or dark woods when you’re not ready for trouble

Contacts: Father(ins)(hated), Sergeant Sunber(min)(loyal)

Local reputation: City of Freya: "little stupid thief who messed with the wrong people"


Yes now you're done with reading. If you held out until here, thanks, I appreciate it. If you didn't , I don't appreciate it.
Please give me your opinions.

-Crack

Calypso
06-24-2004, 08:41 AM
Neat! If I had the book on me, I could probably figure it out, but which lifepaths has Argon walked?

He seems very well-rounded, and the idea of a thief who doesn't kill is an interesting one. He seems to avoid violence at all costs, but is ready for battle at "the first sign of trouble," instead of being ready to run at the first sign of trouble (which seems more like his idiom). Still, I like what you're doing in breaking out of the "I'm a backstabbing, murdering thief" box.

luke
06-24-2004, 06:50 PM
Crack,

this is a great character. He's simple, focussed and well-rounded (like Calypso said).

One note: The Reflexes Attribute is too high. According to the stats you have listed, it should be a B4.

Great reputation, btw.

can't wait to see your next one!
-Luke

Manicrack
06-24-2004, 09:22 PM
He seems to avoid violence at all costs, but is ready for battle at "the first sign of trouble," instead of being ready to run at the first sign of trouble (which seems more like his idiom).

The idea was not that he avoids violence at all costs. Hell, he has been a bandit and he has been on raids.
The idea is, that he avoids killing at all costst. When he is in trouble, he makes sure his opponent is at least hindered to follow him, then he would run. Or maybe even try to hit him unconscious, then loot what he can, and then leave. If the guy is badly injured, Argon would probably go through the trouble of finding him a doc, paying him with the money he jsut looted and then run.


One note: The Reflexes Attribute is too high. According to the stats you have listed, it should be a B4.

Great reputation, btw.

Ok, thanks, I don't know how that error got in my math.
I hope errors like that didn't get into my final exam :roll:

Thanks for the reputation.
I was thinking, why give him a good reputation. And my personal experience is: Sometimes it's good when people underestimate you.

Thanks for the compliments.

-Crack

Kublai
06-28-2004, 01:31 PM
Great job with the character! Born City, Thief, Lead to Outcast, Bandit, Lead to Soldier, Scout?

The instincts are a little vague, however. I wouldn't know how to handle them if I were the GM as they are very broad. Focused and clear Instincts make it easy for the GM to use in an adventure, which means more Artha for you. So, answer these questions:



Instincts: Be ready for battle at first sign of trouble

What does the character do when he readies for battle? Does he draw his knife? Does he enter a stance? Does he intimidate his opponents? Give me some concrete actions. Again, try making the instinct into an "If/then" statement. As you can see "If there is a sign of trouble, I ready myself for battle" doesn't mean much in terms of what he is actually doing. However, "If there is a sign of trouble, I sprint in the opposite direction" says a lot to me as a GM! :)



Instincts: never enter dark street or dark woods when you’re not ready for trouble

Using my advice above, try giving a concrete action. "If I enter a dark street or wood, I always draw my knife."

Manicrack
07-13-2004, 08:45 AM
hehe, long time no see

vacation is a wonderful thing and I got about 2 more weeks of it.

Kublai, I have to admit Instincts gave me the most trouble, and even when I posted them I wasn't actually happy with them.

So, I will have a second go here:


Instincts:

When I sense trouble, I deal with it and fet away before there is more trouble.

When I am in the darker part of the city, I look out for (other) thiefs and cutthroats.



I am a little happier with these. The first one is simple and pretty basic, and kind of supported by all lifepaths, the scond one is related to being a thief in the big city, while few people like you.

what do you think?

-Crack

PS: You guessed the lifepaths just right.

Kublai
07-13-2004, 10:27 AM
Welcome back, Manicrack!


When I sense trouble, I deal with it and fet away before there is more trouble.

Closer, but there still isn't a concrete reaction to a situation. What your instinct does at the moment is it gives you a general outlook on problem solution. It still is within the realm of Belief.

What constitutes "trouble?" Define it as a specific event. When you are attacked? When you are questioned? When a cat crosses your path? Once you define the trouble, then you can describe how you deal with it in a specific manner.

"When combat is over, I run the hell away from the area."

"If I see a drunk, then I strike him."


When I am in the darker part of the city, I look out for (other) thiefs and cutthroats.

This much better. You have a specific situation - when your thief is in the darker parts of the city - and you have a specific reaction - your thief Assesses.

Judd
09-15-2004, 10:55 AM
Aye,

I think this guy would be a stunning partner for the As Yet Unnamed Soldier (as discussed in a previous e-mail) with only a few tweaks.

Perhaps he never left the mercenary compayand is serving in the same regiment as the AYUS?

Manicrack
09-15-2004, 10:26 PM
Aye,

I think this guy would be a stunning partner for the As Yet Unnamed Soldier (as discussed in a previous e-mail) with only a few tweaks.

Perhaps he never left the mercenary compayand is serving in the same regiment as the AYUS?




well, i belive this character is too nice to his opponents to be a real mercenary, but, as i told you in my response e-mail, i got another concept that will turn out a little meaner.